Today is the 10 February - that means that the first month of 2013 has already passed! Time really does fly by and it is so easy to suddenly find yourself cheering in the new year and wondering where the last 12 months went!
This year I have decided to spend time finding out what the plan is. Those of you who know me in real life will know that I love to plan. I will happily spend plenty of money on diaries and various other planning products to be able to carry out one of my most favourite past times - planning. As I have progressed in my walk with God, I have found that my approach to planning has had to change.
Each year I would write down my goals and outline what I wanted to achieve in the upcoming year. I would reflect on what my goals were for the previous year and consider how my progress was with each one. But now, my goal setting for the last few years has changed. When I was younger, it was easier to use that method - I had clear education or career goals that I wanted to achieve and I thought
knew what I wanted! Now I realise that my first mistake was looking at what I wanted - my primary goal has to be looking at what God wants. I believe that God's plan is going to be the best plan for my life - it may not be the easiest but I do know that at the end of it all I will be the person, God intends for me to be. So this year, my main goal is to discover God's plan.
I am currently on adoption leave and on a break from my 12 year career in the classroom and I am asking myself some serious questions - will I be going back? I have wanted to leave the classroom for the last 5 years but have failed to pinpoint exactly what I want to do instead. Now as a new mother, I am faced with harsh reality of all the reasons why I want to leave the classroom!
Teaching is a highly rewarding career and I love working with young people. Young people are so important - they are our future and they are growing up in a much more challenging environment than we did. Positive role models are in short supply for many children today and the education system although impressive, does not meet the need of all children equally. I joined this profession to make a difference and I believe that I have. However, it has become clear to me that to have impact in the classroom you need to be completely devoted - you need to willing to put in the extra hours and go the extra mile. I have been doing this for most of my career but when I got married and started to establish my home, I began to struggle. It felt like I couldn't do well in both areas and I struggled to meet the needs of my home life as well as maintain the level of excellence that I had committed myself to in the classroom. In addition to this change, I always knew that I didn't want to stay in the classroom forever. I want to have an impact beyond the classroom and see how I can help to change the lives of even more young people.
Some of you reading this may feel that this sounds "pie in the sky", but I am a firm believer that God has given each of us a purpose (something that we should be doing here on Earth). I know that part of my purpose involves education - although recently I have been discovering that education is just part of the picture. And so, I am on a mission to find out God's plan. As I mentioned in my first post on this blog, I know that I am in a process of transistioning in my life. It is natural to see changes in life when you become a mother but I also know that this is time where I can make a real effort to listen out for what God is saying.
Listening out for God isn't always easy - especially when your mind is full of good ideas and you are impatient about making a decision because you fear that time is running out. But....the Bible says "Be still and know that I am God". So I'll sit here and wait, trusting that God will speak clearly and on time.
In the meantime, I will be do my best to quieten down the voice in my head that is screaming "WHAT'S THE PLAN?!" enough to hear God's voice saying "Chill out, Cece - I've got it covered!"
Lady in waiting,
Cece xx
